The RENT Songs
by Fandom Jumper
Summary: Llama SongxRENT crossover! Very funny, if I do say so myself. COMPLETED AT LONG LAST!
1. The Roger Song

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT. Sadly. (cries). And for the record: I don't really support Roger/Mark, but I felt inspired.

* * *

Here's a Roger, there's a Roger  
And another druggie Roger  
Fuzzy Roger, funny Roger  
Roger, Roger, Mark

Roger, Roger, Mimi, Roger  
Benny is a meanie, Roger  
Roger, Roger, Collins, Roger  
Roger, Roger, Mark

Roger was a druggie  
Used to be on smack  
Used to have real short hair  
But then it grew back  
Also dated April, but  
Then she killed herself  
Roger was then upset  
And Mark looks like an elf

Did you ever see a Roger  
Writing "One Song Glory" Roger  
Roger, Roger, emo Roger  
Roger, Roger, Mark

Depressed Roger, homo Roger  
I hate Benny, Roger, Roger  
Roger in a loft (with Mark!)  
No Mimi, Roger, Mark

Roger dated Mimi  
After April died  
Markie wasn't happy  
And then curled up and cried  
Listen Jonny Larson  
I don't give a fck!  
Here is what TB says:  
ROGER SHOULD BE WITH MARK!

* * *

Yeah…review nice things please! 


	2. The Benny Song

TB: So many of you loved "The Roger Song", that I've decided to do one for each of the characters of RENT! Should be fun! So here's chapter two! And the disclaimer says that I still don't own RENT. (cries some more) ((A/N: You'll notice I say "Benny is a meanie" a lot. I will be doing this in every chapter. Get used to it. Have fun!))

* * *

Here's a Benny, there's a Benny  
And another landlord Benny  
Baldy Benny, meanie Benny  
Benny, Benny, Mark

Benny, Benny, money, Benny  
Benny is a meanie, Benny  
Benny, Benny evil Benny  
Benny, Benny Mark

There's this guy that we know:  
Benjamin Coffin the Third  
Mimi is a stripper  
Joanne is never heard  
Benny kicked Roger and Mark  
Ou-ut of their loft  
Tom smokes marijuana  
And Angel's hair is soft

Did you ever see a Benny  
'Victing out the homeless, Benny?  
Stupid Benny, loser Benny  
Benny, Benny Mark

Half a Benny, twice a Benny  
Augh! Too many Bennys, Benny!  
Silly Benny, MEANIE Benny  
Benny, Benny, Mark

Benny married Allie  
Of the Westport Grays  
But first he dated Mimi  
And I don't want to rhyme  
In almost every fanfic  
That I've read so far  
Benny is a meanie  
And I still ain't gonna rhyme.

* * *

TB: Yeah, sorry about that last verse. I got lazy. Anyway, review, review, review! No flames if you please! One more thing: the "Joanne is never heard" part was inspired by All-Knowing-Oracle's story _Ten Minute Break._ Read it or else you will die. Not really. But it's really really good and you'll like it a lot. Anyway...review! Vote on who I should do next! 


	3. The Mimi Song

The Mimi Song

* * *

TB: So sorry for the long update. I just had a whole week of vacation and I didn't update ANY of my stories! (pout). Oh well. Here's Mimi!

--------------------------------------

Here's a Mimi, there's a Mimi  
And a skinny stripper Mimi  
Spanish Mimi, long-haired Mimi  
Mimi, Mimi, Mark

Addict Mimi, brown-eyed Mimi  
"Please take me out tonight!" Mimi  
Giving up her vices Mimi  
Mimi, Mimi, Mark

Mimi is a stripper who  
Lived underneath the loft  
Then lived on the street and  
Developed a bad cough  
Roger sang about her eyes  
And then she was healed!  
Angel said to stay alive and  
Mimi insists it's real

Did you ever see a Mimi  
Unplanned kissing Roger Mimi?  
Dancing at the café Mimi  
Mimi, Mimi, Mark

Says she'll die without you Mimi  
Sings "no day but today" Mimi  
Wait, she slept with Benny Mimi?  
Mimi, Mimi, Mark

Had a thing with Benny  
Once two years ago  
Roger said, "Just go die,  
Because I hate you so."  
Mimi accidentally  
Obeyed Roger's command  
Roger said he loved her  
And Mimi lived again!

-----------------------------------

* * *

TB: Hahaha…wow that made no sense at all. Whatever. I hope you all liked it! Maureen's next! 


	4. The Maureen Song

TB: Hey everyone! I realize I didn't put "I hate Benny" at all in the last chapter, like I promised I would. So just imagine an "I hate Benny" in there somewhere. I also did not put the disclaimer in the last chapter. I don't own RENT. Nor do I own the Llama Song (whoever does, I want to hug them for being so brilliant). What I do own are these lyrics and such.

Oh yes…a special round of applause for Midnightpopcorn for being my 50th reviewer for this story! You rock! Yay!

Anyway…here's Maureen!

* * *

The Maureen Song

-----------------------------------------

Here's a Maureen, there's a Maureen  
And another singing Maureen  
Fuzzy Maureen, funny Maureen  
Maureen, Maureen, Mark

Maureen, Maureen, cowbell Maureen  
And eleventh street lot Maureen  
Joanne, Maureen, Elsie, Maureen  
Maureen, Maureen, Mark

Maureen lived with Roger,  
Markie, and Collins  
(Oh, and Benny lived there too  
But I really hate him)  
Maureen dated Markie  
Till she met Joanne  
They became an "item"  
Though Mo is not a man (!)

Did you ever see a Maureen  
Calling Joanne "pookie" Maureen  
Being bi-sex-u-al Maureen  
Maureen, Maureen, Mark

Maureen fcking cheated Maureen  
Leading mooing protests Maureen  
"Take me babe, or leave me" Maureen  
Maureen, Maureen, Mark

Maureen's a performer  
And disses Benny  
Since he is a meanie  
I do not like Benny  
Maureen does the tango  
And she dates Joanne  
Now will you excuse her  
As she saves Cyberland!

-------------------------------------

TB: Yeah…not my best work…but don't bite the hand that feeds you. Or it'll slap you. Ahahahahaha…(ahem) yes. Well…Collins is up next, everybody! Review nice things!


	5. The Collins Song

TB: I love you guys and all your wonderful reviews. So now here comes an update! Yay! Oh...and I still don't own RENT. And I didn't put any Benny stuff in here because I didn't feel like it (gasp). Anyway...enjoy!

* * *

Here's a Collins, there's a Collins  
And a Santa Fe bound Collins  
Fuzzy Collins, funny Collins  
Collins, Collins, Mark

Collins, Collins, Angel, Collins  
Yes he has a cool hat, Collins  
Got his jacket stolen, Collins  
Collins, Collins, Mark

Collins started teaching  
Up at NYU  
He went home for Christmas  
To see his best friends, true!  
But when he arrived he  
Immediately got mugged  
By some random street youth  
And some other thugs

Did you ever see a Collins  
Smoking marijuana Collins?  
Being high in each scene Collins  
Collins, Collins, Mark

Collins at support group Collins  
Collins kissing Angel Collins  
"When your heart's expired" Collins  
Collins, Collins, Mark

Angel helped out Collins  
And bought him a new coat  
He told her she was his queen  
And he would be her moat  
But sadly for everyone  
Angel went and died  
Collins was upset so at  
The funeral he cried.

-------------------------------------

TB: Wow…that was really depressing and sad at the end there…maybe I should add one more verse type thing to cheer people up

-------------------------------------

Collins sang a song about  
Sunny Santa Fe  
Took Angel to support group  
(Pssst, Collins is gay!)  
Collins wears a cool hat  
It is mesh and black  
Rewired the ATM  
And got his money back!

* * *

TB: Eh…whatever. Review please! And be excited for me because I'm on spring break and one of my best friends in the world is coming to visit!!!! YAAAAY!!!! 


	6. The Angel Song

**TB: I'M SO SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG WAIT! (grovels) I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE EXCEPT THAT I'M A LAZY BUM! Anyway…here's Angel!**

**---------------------------------------------------**

Here's an Angel, there's an Angel  
And a random drumming Angel  
Santa Angel, dancing Angel  
Angel, Angel, Mark

Angel, Angel, fashion, Angel  
I do not like Benny, Angel  
Angel killed Evita, Angel  
Angel, Angel, Mark

Angel got hired to  
Kill a bad Akita  
That annoyed it's neighbor  
(The dog's name was Evita)  
After Angel drummed a lot,  
The dog fell to it's death  
Angel then met Collins, and  
Away he took her breath

Did you ever see an Angel  
Singing "I'll Cover You" Angel?  
Funny Angel, happy Angel  
Angel, Angel Mark

Half an Angel, twice an Angel  
Drag queen-slash-transvestite Angel  
Plastic pickle tub drum, Angel  
Angel, Angel, Mark

Angel covered Collins  
Cuz she loved him so  
But poor Angel had AIDS  
And that was very no  
Angel got pneumonia  
Which did her some harm  
But at least Angel died  
In her lover's arms

* * *

**TB: Hahaha… "that was very no" makes absolutely no sense, but you get what I'm trying to say, right? And you understand the "away he took her breath" thing too, right? I just rearranged the phrase "took her breath away" to make it rhyme. Anyway…sorry again for the long update! Bye!**


	7. The Joanne Song

**TB: I haven't updated this story in so long, you all probably forgot about me. I'm soooooo sorry! I couldn't think of ANYTHING for Joanne. But recently, I went to see a touring production of RENT. O.M.G. It was AMAZING! I LOVED IT! AAAAAAH! Anyway…so here's the Joanne Song, which sucks because I STILL couldn't think of anything, but at least there's an update! (And I don't own RENT or the Llama Song.)**

* * *

The Joanne Song

--

Here's a Joanne, there's a Joanne  
And a lezbo lawyer Joanne  
Fuzzy Joanne, Funny Joanne  
Joanne, Joanne, Mark

Joannne, Joanne, tango, Joanne  
"Engineer is late," said Joanne  
Joanne, Joanne, Pookie, Joanne  
Joanne, Joanne, Mark

Joanne is a lawyer  
And a lesbian  
She is dating Maureen,  
A budding thespian  
Maureen used to date Mark  
But now she likes girls!  
Joanne did the tango  
Maureen has dark curls.

Did you ever see a Joanne?  
Tango-ing with Markie, Joanne?  
Joanne, Joanne, kitten, Joanne  
Joanne, Joanne, Mark

Snobby Joanne, droll geek Joanne  
Yes, she's a control freak Joanne  
An anal retentive Joanne  
Joanne, Joanne, Mark

Bah, this song is crappy  
Sorry that it sucks!  
Joanne wouldn't like it.  
But who gives a fck?  
At least now this chapter's done  
I hope you all return!  
Cuz when I next update,  
It will be Markie's turn!

* * *

**TB: I'm so sorry, Joanne. Your song was almost worse than Benny's! I still love you, though! Really! (Wow…when you start talking to inatimate fictional characters, then you really know that you've gone off the deep end.) Anyway…it's true! Next time, it's the long awaited Mark! Yesss!**

**Review!**


	8. The Mark Song

**The Mark Song!!!!!!!!!!**

**FJ: HOORAY! THE ONE WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! YES! IT'S FINALLY MARK COHEN'S TURN!!!!**

**(And congratulations to IxDon'txExist for being the hundreth reviewer! Cookies and hugs for you!)**

* * *

Here's a Markie, there's a Markie  
And another filming Markie  
Glasses Markie, Camera Markie,  
Markie, Markie, Scarf

Markie, Markie, Roger, Markie  
Mimi, Angel, Collins, Markie,  
Mo and Jo and Benny, Markie  
Markie, Markie, Scarf

Mark is best friends with a  
Guitarist named Roger  
Mark used to date Maureen  
He truly did love her  
But everything changed when  
Joanne came along  
Mark was sad and emo  
And now I sing this song

Did you ever see a Markie  
Filming random hobos, Markie?  
He's not gonna pay rent, Markie  
Markie, Markie, Scarf

Sold his soul to Buzzline, Markie  
Halloween's a good song, Markie  
No future and no past, Markie  
Markie, Markie, Scarf

When it is the end, that means  
Mark will be alone  
Because in America  
You are what you own  
Mark knows that AIDS will leave none  
Of his friends alive  
Only Mo, Jo and Mark are  
The ones who will survive

* * *

**FJ: I depress myself. That verse was sad. Unfortunately, I am way too lazy to write a happier verse. Also, I have writer's block and I've been working on this story for like, three years already. It's time it ended. I hope you all have enjoyed this story. Review it, and read some of my other fanfics! Bye!**


End file.
